How To Stand Up For Yourself And Say NO! https://www.iamalpham.com/index.php/topics/stand-up-for-yourself-2/
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Alpha says it's a reality check time-- live is tough and only the assertive will survive. We treat people how to treat us. Don't be a push over and make sure to stand up for yourself.
In this video men's style, grooming, fitness and lifestyle expert, Aaron Marino of IAmAlphaM, AaronMarino, and Pete & Pedro discusses how he grew up from a boy to a young man who couldn't stick up for himself. He associated confrontation with bad things. With each small victory of assertiveness, Alpha's confidence grew.
Assertive is defined as aggressively self assured. To realize your full potential you have to be assertive. Assertiveness grows from the following:
2. speaking up (find your voice)
3. having positive confrontations
Step 1. Realize nobody gives a fuck about anything unless it effects them
Step 2. Put yourself as number 1 and don't care about others
Step 3. Set firm boundaries with everyone but stay fair, and respectful, only get assertive when necessary, you will know when someone is trying to cross the line
Step 4. Start winning
Alpha M, could you please put a secret symbol on your videos that are just to make money from advertising men's products? So we can just click Like, post a random comment; then move on to your videos like this one? The ones you make from the heart rock!
I feel as if looking back at these posts from others in the past it's like I'm reliving my own life. I can quite explain what's wrong or going on with my situation but looking back at these comments I feel like it's describing me ! I get so angry with myself because I'm so passive but it turns me into passive aggressive. I'm beginning to wonder what I really fall under. I explode but don't do so at the person until they hit the last inch with me and I go bat shit nuts and then eventually apologize saying it's everyone else or this n that feeling bad because I worry about hurting feeling's. I know they ain't caring about me but I can handle the hurt because I'm already got a hard shell from bein treated shitty over yrs time. I'm used to sparing ppl of hurt even when I'm miserable no matter what
I am exactly like u used to be. I'm not afraid of anyone I just don't think I can grab the words when it comes to confrontation. I think ill sound like an idiot when it comes down to it but can't seem to remember what I was going to say because I get angry quick I'm so passive aggressive
I started a new job 6 months ago. I was bubbly, active, happy and energetic. My boss is always nagging at me but it's not what she says it's how she says it. We have 3 shops in different parts of the country. I'm doing my ultimate best and our manager dropped out 2 months ago and I was thrown into the deep end and with no training. My boss called me thick as in stupid and not to my face. She said it to one of the other employees in another shop. I had to hear this from someone in another shop and I couldn't fend my self. 😢 deeply hurt and upset. If I am smiling when the boss comes to the shop she says what the joke "come on what's the joke" . Nothing. I'm just smiling. But now I'm broke. Feel sick and nervous when the boss rings. I'm not sleeping. My head is reeling and I'm crying all the time. I love the job passionately but I'm weak and so broken. 😢😢😢
Trying to teach a friend how to be more assertive. I learned from being a security person at a bar where it is of utmost importance to be assertive. I struggled all my life with being assertive, but i got finally got some really good role models to learn from working at that place. Now i have a friend who i see so badly in need of learning how to be assertive, and I’m trying to find ways to show them. I’ve seen them too many times get walked on, and i try to tell them all the time how closed mouths don’t get fed, and how much happier they would be if they just take a small leap of faith with being more assertive.
I'm autistic and I need to take my stuffed mammoth Ellie with me when I leave the house. My mom has been difficult about it, but I'm determined to stand up for myself. I'm 23 and it's time for some boundaries. Thanks for the great tips! :)
When it comes to my classmates borrowing my thingss:
Classm:can i borrow your brown paint
Mind:i cant help but to borrow this to her *annoyed*
Me:okkk,alright but donttt wastee itt
Mind:i am such a pushover *so annoyed*
i was raised to be kind rather than smart, and i wish it was the other way round. In my 16 years of being here, i have learned that so many people take advantage of that and it's just wrong. But recently I have tried to be more assertive and it is working. I learned to say no, learned to fight my corner more in times when I need to. This video really helped, so thanks AlphaM
😭 I m so utterly touched...its so relatable ... I too have a not so good family background n faced similar problem... It is only Now that I have realized how screwed my childhood was . Now that I m an adult I have started working towards self improvement...
Thanx alot for this amazing video 💖😁
This video just triggered a major breakthrough for me. I really don't care if anyone reads this or not I just need to get it out there, I don't want to keep it to myself. I'm 33 years old and for all my life Ive been intelligent, funny, reliable ect. but asserertivness or lack thereof has always plagued me. Background: My parents divorced when I was 5. Fortunatly (if there is such a thing that comes with divorce) their divorce was amicable. Myself and my sister never had to endure our parents fighting or talking down about the other to us. All that aside, divorce has horrendous effects on the children involved no matter what. We are very fortunate to have loving parents.
I have been really working on myself and the issues I have over the last year and a half(thanks to the Lobster king if you know who I mean). I've been really trying to figure out why I don't stand up for myself but have no issues standing up for others most of the time. I avoid confrontation. I don't want to rock the boat. I don't want anyone mad at me because I stood up for my needs which would cause them any sort of disruption sadness or whatever it may be. I work part time at a homeless veterans house( I am an Iraq vet myself). Long story short I had to discharge a veteran last night due to repeated drug use. I had major anxiety when I had to confront him. I was shaking as I was talking to him. It was horrible. I rarely if ever have that kind of anxiety. I have realized I really need to work on this problem. It not only effects my ability to do my job but it has effected me most of my life. I can think of so many situations I just went along with what someone else wanted because I didn't want to rock the boat.
Today I find this video. About one minute into it a memory from when I was 12 came flooding back to me. Ive thought about this memory from time to time but this time was different.
When I was about 7, I asked my mother if I could go live with my Dad. This question I'm sure caught her off guard and she told me dismissively "when you're 12 you can". She eventually forgot about the situation. I didn't. A little while after I turned 12 I reminded her about it. She was fairly upset but tried not to show it. She decided to schedule an appointment with a psychologist friend of hers. So we both went to the appointment together at her friends residence. I remember feeling very awkward like I had done something wrong but I wasn't in trouble. If I remember correctly the Dr. talked to us together briefly then took my mother into her office alone. I don't remember how long she was in there but I vividly remember her coming out of the office in tears drying her eyes. I felt terrible. Like I had crushed my mothers heart. I wished I had never brought it up. I had been looking forward to turning 12 and living with my father since I was a small boy. I needed my father. I needed to learn how to be a man and had a biological need to do so. A step father is no supplement in every single circumstance. Children need their father. Their actual father. I don't care if their actual father is a scumbag and the stepfather is a saint, children need their actual father. A step father will never ever ever replace their father. Now I wished I had never asked for what I wanted.. I was flooded with shame and regret. It was my turn to go into the office. I don't remember much but I remember keeping my answers as short as possible so I could just get the FUCK out of there. I never stood up for myself like that again.
This video has changed my life. If you made it this far into reading, thank you for taking the time. I can finally become a better me.
I needed this. At work my co-workers ask me for help to do their job, (not mine, mines already done) several times a day 5 times a week because they always say they are so "busy". And I always come through for them, but if I need assistance which is rare probably once/month they look at me like I'm crazy and I'm asking for too much, because she will make snide little comments. God forbid they have to stop eating and playing on their phone at their desk and get up. oh I forgot they're "busy" that's their go to word. I seriously need to get them a step counter it would be under 100 steps a work day lol.
I'm so unbelievably agreeable that twice in my life I had roommates who didn't pay any of the rent and bossed me around. They actually convinced me subconsciously they were the one taking care of me and I needed them. Once I realized what was happening and moved out they couldn't live there anymore. That was a long time ago and I've gotten a little better since then. But I do need to work on assertiveness, it's causing a lot of problems in my life.
I'm always following your steps i started with body language i'm hitting the Gym learned to be more social or tho i believe i still need more however standing up for myself is really a problem i'm 21 and still suffering from that and i think its time to fix it thanks for the tips its really helping me a lot.
Thumbs UP! The world is full of disrespect and used car salesmen. Liars abound. As Frank Zappa said in his song 'The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing' ... "Your ass ain't even number one. You ain't even number two," and, "It's your ass that's on the line." Respect is tough these days. There is not enough of it going around it seems.
This guy looks like a metrosexual Beta male. Why is his channel called Alpha male lmao his cute hipster haircut, ear piercings, feminine eyes and voice. He is the opposite of the defintion of a man. A man doesnt care about his looks as much as a woman does. But he does, apparantly.
It's IS aggressive self-assuredness. I've become extremely confident after practicing it and learning to put myself out there.
I always tried to scale back the aggression though to not offend or hurt anyone. I'm not talking about outright aggression, but I mean verbally and with my tone of voice. I've had people step all over me conversationally and I've stood up for myself in an ultra-peacekeeping diplomatic way, but I never pushed back enough and they continue to push their luck and take advantage. You know that feeling when somebody is recklessly throwing words around and speaking from their gut with no concern for your status or feelings?
There's tension between me trying to hold my ground while being polite at the same time.
Fuck it. I'm pushing back. I have convictions and beliefs and if I have to exert my power, I certainly will.
I actually believe in being assertive without being aggressive. It basically makes you say what you want or don't want, without sounding like a jerk or being weak. You say it without any further justification needed. It's more stronger and very pleasant.
OMG sooo true
I could literally beat the shit out of people (which I don't do) but I could NEVER shout at anyone. I can't even remember the last time I raised my voice... thanks for the great video Alpha, really enlightening
Not a guy here, but oh my gosh, you hit the nail on the head! I actually just found this vid because I just had a confrontation with someone where I finally stood up for myself. And you're right, I actually feel all shaky and nauseous as the adrenaline has kicked in. Thanks, now I know I did the right thing and that this is normal. Hopefully it gets easier
I just realized how much anger I have. I yelled, "I'm happy in the shower at my loudest today and I think everyone heard me." They better be careful because someone might actually die and I go to jail.
Ahh I got two inches on you and I feel the same. People complained about me at work for just talking to them... and my bosses made me feel like I should feel bad about those people... just keep doing your thing
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